Matilda's Tribute

Well, 

After the "permit" debacle with the Conception Bay South Council last summer, 

things have settled down temporarily. 

I filed an appeal with Municipal Affairs and a hearing date is yet to be set. 

However, I'm not complaining. 

The longer I have to spend with my precious pets, the better. 

I have a bond with Matilda that I haven't had with any other pets I have ever owned. 

Perhaps it is because we are both mothers. 

Perhaps it is because we provide each other with mutual necessities...

I give her food, shelter and love and she provides me with milk and friendship. 

Matilda is a beautiful, gentle and affectionate animal. 

There are no words spoken between us, 

but we understand and love each other all the same. 

A soft "maa-aa-aa" when she hears me tramp through the snow up to the barn door.

She stays curled in her warm bed of straw while I smooth her head and scratch her chin.

Then I fill her feed dish and she slowly hops down from her perch and I settle over her to milk. 

The rhythm of the milk spraying into the bucket is hypnotic 

and the warmth from Matilda's back is penetrating, even through my down coat. 

The task could lull me into a relaxed, easy sleep. 

After such an intimacy with Matilda each day, I can sense her relief at being milked. 

She finishes eating and I linger for while. I don't want to leave the peace, the bliss. 

When we are outside in the yard and the children are playing, 

sometimes Matilda will jump and wag her head. 

She loves to chase the children and play also. 

She is quite young herself. Only two. 

But even so, she never quite lets me out of her sight. 

She comes when I call and if I should happen to disappear

she calls for me. Maaa-aa-aa. 

When I'm with her, it's the most peace I've felt in a very, very long time. 

I don't want to disappear. I don't want Matilda to disappear.

We've Applied for a Hobby Farm Permit!

So Myself and Freddie have applied to the Town Council of CBS for a permit to "operate a Hobby Farm." I actually just applied for a permit to retain my goat, Matilda and my seven hens.

The permit fee was obscenely expensive and ridiculous. $350 if you can imagine!

So, Saturday, the enforcement officers delivered the letters to my neighbors of my intentions. The "evil" neighbours, of course, came out on their front lawn waving around a suspicious looking letter/paper and looked directly at Fred whilst discussing it. Fred was busily attending to some minor work in the front yard when he noticed them. He looked at them like he would look at one of Rosie's weird white poop and then continued on with his work.

Then, yesterday, my friend Amanda saved me the ad that was placed in the "Shoreline" newspaper with my application to operate a Hobby Farm.
See the photo I have included.

So, I suppose I shall have to wait until August 13th or thereabouts to see if I will have to separate from my precious hens and my beloved Matilda.
The 13th may be an unlucky number for some but fortunately for me, I am not superstitious. So we shall see!

test

olivia saurus rex

The Evil Force that Threatens the Peace of the Town of Conception Bay South

Alas, it appears the CBS town council is vehemently opposed to 

animals of mass destruction, oh, pardon me, "chickens." 

They are adamant that I remove 7 little hens from my property. 

Imagine...7 little birds are the cause of so much evil and turmoil 

within the town of CBS! 

My goodness how will any of my fellow residents survive the chicken Armageddon!!! 

Oh the horrors that Golden Road and subdivision are experiencing

 because of these evil, grotesque and violent birds!!! 

They have been ravaging the neighbours children, squawking, chasing them 

and pecking them almost to their deaths! 

I think one child almost had his entire leg eaten off. 

They cause nightmares and fear amongst the elderly! 

They fear for their walkers, canes and their lives! 

Many hearing aids have been completely destroyed 

because of the chickens fearsome and viciously loud cackles!

They are spreading widespread disease and contagion amongst the 25 000 residents! 

Their shit is so enormous, it has almost levelled the Ultramar gas station up the road, 

just-by-a-single-FART!! 

My God! One neighbour's car completely melted just from the fumes!!! 

Something must be done! Call in the Federal Department of Health! No, call in the military!! 

For God's Sakes hurry before they destroy us all!!!

The animals of mass destruction are an evil menace to the CBS public and town council! 

The chickens plan to infiltrate the council, 

write legislation against residential development, 

depose Woodrow French and perhaps allow a Wal-mart to be built in the community! 

We cannot allow such dastardly acts to be fulfilled!!  

We must all rally together and fight off these evil egg laying bastards!! 

They will be the ruination of Newfoundland, but more importantly the town of Conception Bay South, because Conception Bay South is the most classy place in the world to live you know. 

Only the elite live here and we must keep them all safe from evil chickens. 

This is so freaking ridiculous. 

Prison (Coop) Break!!!

On a very sunny day, back in the dog days of the summer of 2011, somehow the ladies escaped the coop.

They had apparently been out of the coop for several hours before I even noticed they were loose!

They didn't go very far...just around the backyard,

 in the woods behind the coop and, unfortunately,  into my vegetable garden. 

(You can see the makeshift fence I put up...

utterly useless against these rapid vegetable attackers!)

The vegetable garden was destroyed. There were mangled and dead seedlings everywhere. Their carcasses thrown carelessly every which way. The only survivors were the onions and garlic. Maybe that's why chickens don't have bad breath...not that I would know.  

Anyway, my harvest was less than bountiful :)

Soon they had a favorite hangout in the shrubby area behind the house.

But then they started to get brave and venture to new worlds...

Such as in my flower pots.

First they ate my lilies...

Then they ate my mother-in-law's wildflower seedlings...

They pooped in Fred's impeccably clean driveway (rolling my eyes right now).

And then they committed the unpardonable sin.

They started digging in the neighbor's flower garden.

Fred said "Keep the chickens in the coop, or you might lose them."

Sure enough, the evil next door neighbors...

(this is all I see when I visualize them)

 called the town council...

And now the chickens have to dodge the old Animal Catcher Man.

He hasn't caught them yet...

Not with the Ever-Elusive-Rosie keeping him busy!!!

Good luck catching her, Animal Catcher Man!

We have a secret warning call. Buck-AAAAAck.

Someone's Gonna End Up As Sunday Dinner!

So the chickens have been with us for a few months now...

We've found two Gloriously Golden eggs...

And that was it.

Gabby and Scarlet were very lucky that I had no idea which one of them was not laying eggs...because they both lay brown eggs.

But now both Gabby and Scarlet have not laid any eggs since that first week....

So someone might end up as Sunday Dinner...

If Freddie has anything to say about it!

You better get laying girls! Or you're going to end up extra crispy!

Who am I kidding? I feel guilty just eating chicken from the supermarket.

For instance; One day, Willow asked "What is for supper?" and I said "We're having chicken for supper." Willow's eyes opened wide and she ran to the window. "Oh NO! We're having Owlie for supper!?" 

Owlie is what Willow named the white hen in our little flock.

 I had to do damage control, immediately! 

"No! No! We're not having Owlie for supper...this is fake chicken from the supermarket." I said. 

Willow was okay with that. 

After the chicken was cooked and laid out, Fred, Willow and Olivia were devouring their chicken. 

Grease was smeared all over their faces and in Olivia's hair, as per usual. 

I had just picked at my food...I lost my appetite.
 It must be the guilt. 

I had purchased, cooked and served one of my ladies' comrades...

How will I ever live this down?

How will I ever face the ladies again?

Stay tuned...

THE TANGLEY CONSTRUCTION

It began like any other day, a cool breeze, some cloud cover but no sign of rain...

The materials were all aboard the truck ready to be unloaded...

4x4 posts and 2"x4" lumber...check!

Insulation...Check!

Chicken Wire.......Check!

Here's our wheel barrel, water mixer!!

Even the "Dinosaur" is in on the action......she prefers to observe from afar, near our fancy outdoor fireplace (which is not in use during this photo, by the way)

Choosing the location and scoping it out! Then starting the frame of the coop. This takes about 45 minutes.....

In this photo, it appears that Rosie is either a) biting the tree or b) getting ready to haul Fred's pants down. Which do you think? hee hee hee

Random Neighbours......Check.

His name is Phil...that's all I know.

 The random neighbour...who's name is "Phil," apparently knew everything there was to know about chickens..... I was very skeptical given the fact that he is a "Townie" for one, and looked to be about half our age...... but of course, perhaps it would be better to give the benefit of the doubt.... In this photo above, they are building the frame of the chicken coop. What would have taken Freddie 45 minutes MAX, took him 3 1/2 hours with his assistant... He asked if I could cook (at around lunchtime) so that kind of ruffled my feathers a bit. I laughed, said "No,"...so shortly thereafter---the random neighbor left.

Meanwhile, some other random neighbors seemed to be all collecting about their back yards, wandering around...some with phones up to their ears and one man must have walked around his backyard and randomly stuck some sort of stick in the ground a GAZILLION TIMES!!! I kept a close eye on them and discovered them squinting their eyes (I have a set of binoculars too, you know...I'm just as bad hahaha) at us!!! One lady stood in her doorway, smoking what was one cigarette, I believe, for an INCREDIBLE 45 minutes!!!  Can anyone explain to me what the deal is: WHY does everyone coming running outside when they hear either a hammer???

This is probably 2 1/2 hours in..... We've got one wall completed and the frame of another wall......

Easy......EASY NOW!!!

Fred is very proud of his swining door.......Not too grumpy......we're on a roll here!!!!

 YES!!! We've made it approximately 50% through the construction without any grumpiness! Not even the compost that you see in the background is affecting his mood....hmmmm.......What has gotten Fred so happy?

It's a good day on the Funny Farm for sure!!!

I don't have any photos of the insulation installation--which I did ALL BY MYSELF by the way. I am very proud of my handiwork. But you will see some of it in future pictures, as we haven't covered it up with plywood yet. That will be saved for another weekend and we'll call that post: ON-GOING REPAIRS.

Stay tuned for the introduction of the teenager chickens and the mini-chickens!!

Don't forget to vote for the name of the Rooster!!

A Big Welcome To The Eight New Chickens!!!

The "Big Day" finally arrived with much preparation and excitement all around!!!

And what a GORGEOUS day it was!!! What are the chances of that?

Sunshine, a slight breeze and a sultry 17 degrees celcius!!! 

What a good omen for the start of our Funny Farm!!!

The day started with a few last minute details, such as some odd repairs to the coop, the purchase of a few more supplies, and the set up of a nice comfy bed and some refreshments for the chickens upon their arrival so they could settle in, right away.

We travelled all the way to St. John's to a BEAUTIFUL farm on Mt. Scia Hill. It was complete with a gorgeous farmhouse, a chicken house, barn, greenhouse and duckpond with a wooden walkway. It was like walking right into FarmVille!!!

The farmer was Mr. Perry and he was a very friendly man. He had a cute little farm assitant named Jakey (his grandson) who told me all about the chickens. He was so affectionate with his chickens, petting them and cuddling them. What a wonderful person to buy chickens from!!

No crazy chicken farmer with man-eating chickens at THIS place!!!

So by the end of the visit I had eight chickens, some of them heritage breeds (which I will explain a little later on),  in my car...all tucked away in "Pampers" boxes.

So far I have two adult hens (1 year olds), 3 teenagers (3 weeks old) and 3 chicks (1 week old).

Scarlet is a Rhode Island Red.

Scarlet

Pepper-- (who I renamed "Gabby" because she buc-buc's ALOT and is SO friendly!!!)  is a Plymouth Barred Rock. I named her Gabby after a famously talkative but very dear friend of mine: The late Jennifer Lythgoe. I would love to see her comments plastered all over these pages. She would definitely call me nuts and then laugh with me for sure!!! I miss her daily more and more.

Gabby---Buc Buc Buc- ACK!!!

Ninja is a Black Australorp, she is three weeks old. Here, she is pictured in the Brooder box with two other un-named teenagers and the three chicks. The older chicks curl their wings protectively around the smaller chicks, allowing them to snuggle into their warmth! It's the sweetest thing I've ever seen! The three smallest chicks are miniature chickens! They are ornamental and won't produce popular, large eggs but they will make excellent eye candy for the coop!!!

Ninja Chicken (Black with the long neck)

Now I understand why Native Americans would wait years before naming their children. I am at a loss for what to name my other chickens; at least until they mature. I have three chicks whom I do not know if they are male or female and the other two "teenagers" are a bit non-descript so I will keep them un-named until I observe their personalities or some peculiar physical trait appears!

 I want to thank all my supporters!!! 

Freddie, for agreeing and building the coop no less!

Fred's mom and her partner Lee for helping me to convince him!!! 

Lee for offering to take "care" of the chickens...not sure if it's going to happen yet but it's the thought that counts!!! And also for all the advice on how to care for them!

Willow, for her excitement and enthusiasm! Olivia...perhaps next year! hahaha

And to everybody who is reading, posting comments and getting a laugh out of our adventure...

THANK YOU!!! 

It's nice that people are interested in following along!

Stay tuned tommorrow for a complete run down on the building of the coop, the random neighbour who apparently knew everything about chickens and the spying neighbors!!

The "Four Universal Rules" of Newfoundland

When doing ANY kind of outdoor project in NEWFOUNDLAND, there are four “Universal Rules" to remember:

1) It is either RAINING or WINDY  or both, in Newfoundland.
If it is NOT raining and windy, you will start your project and five minutes in, it will begin to rain and blow. When it finally IS sunny (which is very rare), it is most often cold and windy.

2) There is no such thing as “LEVEL” or “FLAT” in Newfoundland. If you make something level, it will not continue to be level for long. It is an utter impossibility in Newfoundland.

3) OLD PEOPLE and BUSY BODIES telepathically suspect suspicious activities are going on in the neighbourhood. There is just no other way to explain them all coming outside for a 45 minute smoke, or to talk on the phone or to linger around their lawns, picking up non-existent scraps of garbage, especially given the fact that it is rainy and windy.

How in the world did that cigarette last 45 MINUTES???

This happens just when you pick up your hammer and have something to do (that they might feel needs to be reported to the proper town authorities---whom they have on speed dial, no less).

Some OLD PEOPLE or BUSY BODY superhuman abilities include:

a) Having the incredible ability to hear a hammer before it hits the first nail.
b) Sensing the need to call the fire department before the match is even struck.
c) Using the "squinty eye" to determine if you are sketchy...similar to telepathy or x-ray vision.

Do NOT be fooled. Old people have eyesight and hearing like hawks and they are cunning like foxes. How else do they know to all come out at the same time and investigate your goings-on before you've even begun?

4) RANDOM NEIGHBOURS, whom you've never seen before today, tend to drop by out of nowhere and offer input. I don't know the names of any of my neighbours and we could go 6 months without a neighbor speaking to us, but when we are on a deadline, we seem to be the most popular people in the neighbourhood. Oftentimes this is a nuisance as the unknown neighbour gives a constant running commentary and is a complete expert on the matter in question.

Notice the nose growing longer....

How so, you ask? Well, it is assumed by the neighbour that I have absaloutely no idea what a chicken is, much less how to take care of one; therefore he/she gives a complete how-to speech on chicken husbandry, none of which is correct.
While I chew my piece of hay and nod politely, I wonder in utter amazement at how this person has managed to live so long, being so stunned.

For instance, this person (who has never rasied a chicken themselves, by the way) was absaloutely adamant that a chicken that lays eggs could not possibly be good for meat as well (therefore the mythical "dual-purpose" Rhode Island Red" chicken indeed, does not exist...)

The Fabled "Rhode Island Red" dual purpose Hen.

...it would also be positively lethal to keep meat and egg chickens together in a coop (perhaps the meat chickens would eat the egg chickens in one gulp? I forgot to ask...)

Lethal Egg Eating Chicken.

Let us also not forget a chicken apparently needs a hunky chicken-man to lay eggs. No sir-ee.  Chickens are feminists!!! They don't need no Cock-a-doodle-doo!!!

People automatically assume that when you start a project, you have absaloutely no idea what you are doing and have done no research therefore they must:

a) Talk you out of it or
b) Quiz you on what you know about it...even though they have no point of reference for determining if you are right or wrong so they "wing it" (every pun intended) and pretend that they know all about it. 

I accept these things gracefully and continue to chew away on my piece of hay.

An Introduction to Penney's Funny Farm Family Members

At some point you are going to need to get to know all of the members of Penney's Funny Farm so here's a quick introduction to the current crowd:

Olivia Jennifer Harnum aka "The Dinosaur" aka "OliviaSaurus Rex" aka "O-Rex."

Her shrills have been know to cause cracks in the walls of the house and it has been rumored that her voice can be heard as far away as Taylor's Fish Market, a kilometer away.

Willow Irene Harnum aka "Willus" aka "Willy" aka "Midgey."

The second loudest child on the planet and very sneaky. A single thumb is not good enough for this child. She is the only child in the earth's history that has found the need to stuff her entire hand in her mouth to fall asleep.

Rosie McToes-y

Fred's "arch nemisis." Also the fastest dog in the East. She goes from 0 to 60 in less than a second. Thus the reason why Wllow's supper often disappears from her table before her fork reaches her plate.

Fred Harnum aka "Sketchy Fred."

Fred's name stems from a series of dangerous incidents involving the "building" of certain jeeps and the various characters involved. Trying to explain would involvde giving a long commentary of history involving off-roading, snow storms and car parts.


Alicia Penney-Harnum aka "Penney."

A strange individual with wacky ideas and peculiar interests and hobbies. Does not follow a high maintenance, mainstream lifestyle.

We'll keep you posted on new members of the family (i.e. Chickens...goats...) and the various, interesting individuals we encounter along the way!